A life filled with living – 100 years worth
(Editor’s Note: Portions of this story are taken from interviews that both Lindy Buren and Jana DeWaay had previously conducted with Jay Jaycox for publication in the Sanborn Pioneer.)
Ever known a life so full that it takes 100 years to hold it all. That is definitely the case with one M. D. “Jay” Jaycox. Jay has worn many hats during that century of living: entrepreneur, WWII veteran and POW, teacher and school board member, civic leader, advocate for senior citizens, golfer and, most importantly, husband and patriarch to a family that now numbers 48 members.
As Jay once told the Pioneer while pointing to a photo of his family, “There are a lot of good times, good stories, but my biggest accomplishment is right here. That is the accomplishment of my life.”
Those family members (minus three great-grandchildren) gathered Sunday at a crowded Jay’s Restaurant to host an Open House in celebration of 100 years. Jay, looking distinguished in his WWII dress uniform, shared memories and laughs with many of the friends and extended family whose lives he had touched through the years.
A family patriarch needs a matriarch and in Jay’s case that was the former Marilynn Graen. The couple were married for 56 years until Marilynn’s death in 2002. They met when both worked at the Montgomery Ward store in Spencer. Recalling their first date, Jay said, “There was a fire in town. I asked her, ‘Do you want to walk down and look at the fire?’” Their subsequent walks (neither one had a car) included those to the Green Mill for a maidrite. Jay recollected that they always went Dutch and that Marilynn had a pretty good job. A grinning Jay said, “I thought she had all the money, so I latched right on to her.”
The good times Jay knew with Marilynn were preceded by some hard times as a prisoner of war in France during World War II. Jay had been drafted into the U.S. Army in December of 1943. He received his basic training at Fort Benning, GA and his advanced gunman training at Fort Bragg, NC. Jay recalled that after battling hurricanes during his training, he was among the 5,000 troops that sailed for Marseilles, France aboard the USS General W.H. Gordon. On November 9, 1944 a train delivered him into combat where his mission was to liberate the French town of Bitche. Assistant Squad Leader Jaycox was promoted after the former Squad Leader disappeared.
While Jay and two fellow soldiers were on patrol they ran into their German counterparts. Jay was taken prisoner and wound up in a POW camp in Moosburg, Germany along with 135,000 other allied soldiers who had been captured. That was in February of 1945. “It was bitterly cold,” he said. “I had lost my helmet. We were marched across France and Germany with very little food.” Jay scoffed at TV’s Survivor franchise. “They don’t know what survival is,” he said recalling his diet of turnip greens, dandelion greens, horsemeat, snails and, when on the railroad cars, black bread. “It was very frightening to sleep on the ground in a frozen puddle,” he added, “and when you looked up there was no fence, just Germans with machine guns surrounding you.” Jay estimates he walked between 200 and 300 miles and lost over 30 pounds. The POW camp wasn’t much better with no hot meals, no toilet paper and only a couple of showers during his 70 days there. When he was finally liberated on April 29, 1945 he tried to locate the 7th Army. He commandeered an abandoned Mercedes-Benz and then a motorcycle. He had never before ridden the latter but noted that when you need transportation you learn real fast.
Jay eventually boarded a ship back to Boston and spent several weeks recovering before returning to duty. He told the Army he was never going to pick up a rifle again, and he didn’t, finishing out his tour as a staff sergeant in California before being discharged on December 5, 1945.
Jay has returned to Europe several times, retracing his steps and being part of an anniversary celebration of the liberation of Bitche. Among the expressions of gratitude displayed by the French people during that celebration were thank you letters written by the children of Bitche.
This 100-year journey for Jay began on his parents’ farm near Crofton, NE on June 6, 1922. Prior to his induction Jay had taught for one year in Jackson County, MN, having earned his teaching certificate at Wayne State Teacher’s College in Nebraska. Jay later served for over 18 years on the Sanborn Community School board of directors, part of that time as board president.
It was while working at Montgomery Ward following his discharge that he and his half-brother, Leroy Tinkcom decided to go into business together. In 1946 they purchased the cafe business from Phil Cuppett, who also owned a garage and filling station in the same location along Highway 18 in Sanborn. After his experience as a POW, Jay vowed that he would always work around food. He bought Leroy’s interest in the cafe in 1951 and then purchased the remainder of the setup from Cuppett in 1961. The business eventually expanded into that whole area.
“The Standard” was well known for its hot beef sandwiches and home-made fries. Jay rented out the Standard filling station but in the early 1970s Standard Oil removed the pumps. Thought Jay at the time, “Well, if they aren’t going to need us for their gas, I am not going to advertise for them, so I changed the name from the Standard Cafe to Jay’s Restaurant and Lounge.
Marilynn was an active partner in the business, serving as bookkeeper, waitress, cashier and hostess. The three Jaycox children, Nancy, Terry and Steve also had their own responsibilities at the cafe. That was often the only time that their father, routinely putting in 12-hour days at the cafe, got to see the kids. Terry eventually took over management of the business after Jay’s retirement in 1986. The word “retirement” is used loosely because Jay could still be found on the premises, helping out or just continuing his relationship with the many customers. Terry, who took over management of the business, just recently sold it but, in the tradition of his father, can still be found helping out.
Jay and the Jaycox family have helped out Sanborn’s senior citizens for nearly 50 years. Jay’s Restaurant served as the town’s first congregate meal site for seniors. That relationship has continued as Sanborn Dinner Date is still held at Jay’s Restaurant. When Sanborn was in danger of losing the program in the mid-1980s Jay offered to take reservations, help with the finances if Dinner Date fell behind, serve a special luncheon “on the house” for those attending a set number of meals and serve the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. At a special meeting held to make a decision on the future of Dinner Date in Sanborn, Jay reaffirmed his support for Dinner Date. An agreement was reached between him and Area Agency on Aging for Jay to be the sponsor and legal contractor.
In his later years, Jay has become known as much for his golfing as he has for flipping burgers. As an adult Terry invited his Dad to play golf with him and Jay decided it was time to play. “I loved it and was on the golf committee to get a course here in Sanborn,” recalled the elder Jaycox. “I was the first one to tee off the course, first chairman of the golf board and the first one to get a hole-in-one on number 3.”
As for that burger flipper? “Through the restaurant business, I figure I have made more friends than enemies,” said Jay. That includes the “regulars” and those passing through maybe once a year on vacation. There were most certainly those from both camps represented on Sunday as Jay was formally wished a “Happy 100th!”